We ball hard
So someone at LC decided it was a good idea to get together and have a basketball tourney. It was actually entertaining especially since I havent seen a lot of the guys in years. Thanks to my sister I was very happy to go once she told me who was going to be there. My hs/jr high crush was there with his family. It was nice to make friends with his wife. Later that night after the guys bengayed themselves we meet up at the bar. I still debated this but as the time neared I knew I needed to be there. I had a blast and was hugged and lifted off my feet when the guys did this. As always the boys made me feel special.
Pain
I have a high pain tolerance but this has become unbearable! I almost feel like I am the worst sinner in the world and that I am being punished for my lifetime of miss deeds. I wish my body would heal quickly. I honestly dont know how much more I can take. I have been sick since birth and as I age it only gets worse. The pain is so bad that I dont know how much I can possibly take. I now know only slightly what Jesus must have felt and I know his pain was greater by far than mine. I can only imagine the pain the truly sick must feel. I hurt enough to cry. I wonder how much more I must endure. I try and stay strong for the sake of my boy and parents. Someone must take care of them. I hurt and my pain is great. I wish it would go away.
Wound care
I guess I should be lucky to be alive. I will say I have that going for me. I am happy to be out of the hospital but wound care is killing me. I actually need a pain killer. Today they did a 1st for me. They poured a solution of bleach into the 2 inch hole in my back so that it doesnt smell. Lemons in a cut have nothing on this. The mother fucker burned and I openly expressed my pain for once. As I lay there in pain I feel a pull in my back. Thinking they cut my shirt or bra only to be told they were cutting the tissue inside my back and my skin. I had to bite my lip from the pain. I have always said that I would never wish this on my worst enemy and I mean that! And to top all that off they placed a sponge in my back for the drainage. OMG that shit hurt like hell as well. The area is tender to the touch and they pushed it into my back. Yes I think 2 pain killers may help me out.
My son and I waiting to get my IV infusion at the hospital. He is my greatest creation and the reason I keep on going. I love this boy!
3:30 am and I have slept a total of 2 hrs tonight. Nurse doesnt get that I barely sleep. And if you keep coming in my room and poking me or wanting something I sure wont be able to sleep.
There is a kind of crying I hope you have not experienced, and it is not just crying about something terrible that has happened, but a crying for all the terrible things that have happened, not just to you but to everyone you know and to everyone you don’t know and even the people you don’t want to know, a crying that cannot be diluted by a brave deed or a kind word, but only by someone holding you as your shoulders shake and your tears run down your face.
